Its Not The Holiday Season - It's Christmas !!

"The Holiday Season"

This term is really starting to annoy me and it seems to be creeping more and more into our vocabulary due to a combination of the political correctness brigade and Americans.

Now I'm not particularly religious but I respect all religions so why do certain factions of the public and the media insist on calling Christmas "The Holiday Season"

Christmas is a christian religious festival, we don't go about calling Ramadan "The Fasting Season" or Yom Kippur "The Abstinence Season" so why should Christmas be treated any differently.

Unless of course in a glaring oversight by theologists and academics the world over it has nothing at all to do with celebrating the birth of the baby Jesus but is actually celebrating the inception of Saint Thomas of Cook, patron saint of holiday destinations and cheap self catering apartments.

If that is the case then in my book the "Holiday Season" surely starts around April and ends around August and during that time it is celebrated by nipping down the the travel agents, packing your trunks and suntan lotion and going on your "Summer holidays"??

So as a request would all you politically correct arseholes and most of America please refer to this time as Christmas.

Rant over......

I've Got A Temperature

In true masculine fashion and a result of being stuck on the flight back from Bristol full of sneezy, coughing travellers I now find myself spending Christmas Eve stuck in bed with:

• Aching muscles
• A drippy nose
• Sore Head
• Sore Throat
• Rabies
• Onset of Ebola Virus............

List is not exhaustive and my need for sympathy is directly proportional to my enormous suffering and the 2 miles of bog roll I've used blowing my nose.

Travel Expenses and Knickers

For anyone of the male persuasion making regular travel trips to Cardiff by air always ensure that if travelling back home on a Friday night that you pack ample pants in case you get stranded at the airport.

Unless of course you don't mind going into the airport duty free which only sells women's lingerie, buying a g-string and spending the rest of the evening in the exec lounge adjusting your butt crack.

Furthermore I reckon that your emergency expense claim for a 5 pack of knickers and a camisole top might take, for some obscure reason, much longer to get approved.

So before anyone out there tries to pass off the reason "required to purchase knickers and camisole as no shirts left and pants all had skid marks" with their resource team just remember.....

Unlike a puppy pants are not for life......although maybe 2 to 3 days tops if you avoid curries.

Aircraft Lifejackets

Why to airlines insist on showing you how to inflate your life jacket on flights that don't go over water ?

Now I know Glasgow can get a bit wet but the puddles are THAT big.

My personal theory is that it has nothing to do with the possibility of crash landing in water but rather the potential consequence of 100 plus people all pissing themselves in unison in an airtight cabin just after the captain announces the engines have failed.

It wouldn't sound too good on the news to hear that although the plane landed safely after engine failure unfortunately all the passengers that couldn't swim drowned in 400 gallons of their own piss.

Christmas Cash Machine Conundrums

Christmas is upon us and that can only mean one thing..........

Seemingly endless queues at cash machines where countless people seem willing to wait to extract cash in order to wait in more endless queues inside high street stores to exchange the same cash for the chosen gift for their loved ones.

Now had this been twenty years ago when we didn't have cash machines and queued inside banks to take cash out then I could accept this blindingly stupid phenomenon.

But this is 2007 and HELLO.......99.99% percent of all shops accept debit cards so why not, instead of standing at two queues, just go into the sodding shop and pay using the sodding card you were going to take the sodding cash out with in the first place !!!!!!

Or am I missing out on some hidden exchange rate where for every £10 you take out from a cash machine the bank in an overwhelming show of generosity gives you another £1 completely free of charge.... ?????






Look........ someone using their debit card to pay for something and "gosh" it cost £8.99....it's just like handing over £10 and being given £1.01 back in change ........ honest !!!

Some Seasonal Snaps

A few funfair shots as I walked home through George Square tonight.

Alan's Arty Picture Slot

Night shot of the Cenotaph at George Square