The four "F's" of the apocalypse

After a particularly crappy day in the office I have deduced in true Dan Brown style, far fetched tenuous and implausible, that the four horsemen of the apocalypse already ride among us...but not on horses.

What academics and theologians have overlooked is that the horses are actually a metaphor for things that do great dollops of shit or to be more precise cause shit to happen.

The word "four" is both a numeric symbol and a mispronunciation of the Latin fūtuere which over the years became foutre and eventually the double meaning "Four".

"Four" also has hidden symbology and signifies the four F's of modern man.....

And behold the four things that are the deliverer of all evil f...ing shit:

1. Fones
2. Faxes
3. Fotocopiers
4. F...ing Computers

My next novel, entitled the Xerox Code, will follow a deranged communications manager in his quest to uncover the secrets within an ancient photocopier manual and the location of the long lost paper jam that it protects.