Just nip down to the ideal home exhibition whereupon you will be offered various items which will be guaranteed to change your and everyone else's lives for ever.The most popular items appear to be the all-in-one wonder knife and the mad mental chopper which allow you to fashion no end of foodstuffs into small useless chunks and nice flouncy things that fall to bits when you pick them up.
All we have to do is supply one to each of the worlds tyrants and they'll be so busy slicing endless supplies of peppers, tomatoes and potatoes to make enough salad and chips to feed China that they'll no longer be bothered to invade countries or steal Red Cross food parcels.
Actually, in an open gesture of goodwill, they'll all be inviting around the neighbours to admire the various fab and groovy display of vegetable flowers that they've created using the "ever-sharp wonder knives" but only if they bring round some aluminium cans instead of bottles of wine to allow the host to display the useful can cutting abilities of their knife set.
What a load of pish!
2 comments:
Ron Popeil is going to be SO PSYCHED.
Yes, who would have known his cheesey inventions would solve, not only what to do with all those irritating vegetables that you have lying around, but also according to the salespeople EVERYTHING else. I personally bought one to repair a dripping tap but I'll need to go back and read the manual because I'm obviously doing something wrong to get its tap-fixing abilities to work......Although I have managed to cut a lot of aluminium cans in half.
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