Scottish Weather and Gordon Brown's bum

Another end to a piss awful, in more ways than one, summer and in one of my now infamous theories I have came up with the reason why it has become so wet in recent years........

Gordon Brown's bum.

You see there is a physical limit to how much crap a politician can spout out of their mouth and any excess must therefore be expelled via the more traditional exit point. And judging by the permanent grimace on Gordon Brown's face we're looking at a man who is just full of it to the point of bursting.

So what happens to the excess bull that he hasn't managed to dump on the public by way of taxation?

He flushes it down an especially built lavvie with a pipeline running up to Berwick-Upon-Tweed whereupon it is immediately fed through boilers to form steam and ultimately excrement derived rainclouds.

And you thought those windfarms were to generate electricity.....well you're wrong, they're there to blown the damn clouds around the country.

This allows Gordo to shit on on everyone, quite literally, from a great height.

Gordo's Grab A Grand...or...2...or...3...or...4.......

Oops Gordo....... while driving down public sector spending you appear to have increased spending on your own "expenses" to the tune of nearly £4500 compared to 2003/04, in fact you've increased your spending by over 30%.

Maybe the increase is to cover the cost of your new flat screen plasma TV you've had installed in No.10?

While you're watching it why don't you speak to your old pal Tony to see if he can wangle you a T.V. licence on the fly.

I'm sure that if you introduce a tax on the use furry slippers for anyone aged over 75 you might even be able to offset the cost of that holiday, sorry, official overseas visit.