Underground Dilemas

I'm sure that I am not alone in thinking there's an inherent design flaw with the Glasgow Underground and that is........where the hell to look.

You see the problem with the Glasgow Underground is that the seats are positioned lengthwise down either side of the carriages and directly facing each other with little more than 1 metre of a gap down the central aisle.

The resultant effect is that when the carriage is full everyone is staring directly into the face of the person at arms length opposite them.

Now the seasoned underground traveller knows this and comes prepared with a paper or book to hide behind, however for the rest it only leaves 2 options:

1. Pretend to read the adverts in the banners above headheight.


2. Take a sudden interest in footwear and floorboards as you stare at the ground.

There is of course a third option which is to actually stare at the person opposite but the ramifications of this really put it out the game unless you want to be labelled as a crazy weirdo and have all the passengers point you out to the police as you disembark.

I personally favour the footwear and floorboards option after being caught out pretending to be avidly reading the adverts only to realise that every one was an advert for testing for sexually transmitted diseases.

Future Orange?....more like a melon

I've just experienced your classic call centre conversation courtesy of Orange customer care.

Me: I'm phoning on behalf of a friend who has lost all signal on her mobile and it is her only means of communication other than by post as she is living on a remote part of the Shetland islands. Can you tell me if your transmitter is down in that area?

Call centre: I'm sorry sir but as you are not the account holder I cannot give you any information about the account.

Me: But I dont want to know about the account just if your transmitter is down in that area.

Call centre: Can you give me her mobile number so that I may call and speak to her to confirm some details.

Me: %&$£$***$?*!!!! %!!***


The Future Is Bright The Future Is Orange........my ar$e