Global warming and snowboarding

While driving into town today I happened to notice the amount of snowboarding equipment & clothing shops that appear to be popping up all over inner-city high streets and malls.

And then, as the sun blazed though my windscreen while the air-conditioner tried to cope, it struck me.

Global warming, as we have come to understand it, hasn't been caused by gas guzzling cars, aeroplanes and the need for armpits as fresh as a daisy but by snowboarders.

In a classic case of cause and effect a direct correlation can be drawn between the rise in snowboarding and therefore the need for snowboarding shops, the increase in global warming and the sharp decline of snowfall in the Cairngorms.



My theory is almost brutal in its simplicity, as the would-be snowboarders ever increasingly demand the need for the latest street cred gear and ultra-high tech boards then as a direct result more and more far eastern factories, who's understanding of the Kyoto agreement is as good as George Bush's, are required to produce more and more synthetic boards and clothing while churning out ever increasing ozone destroying pollution .

At the current rate of snowboard shops opening I predict that Glen Shee will be full of bamboozled snowboarders trying to get their boards to slide on grass by 2024.

So snowboarders, stop looking trendy and save the planet, just go out with your wellies and a nice woollen polo neck jumper that your mum knitted.